Amanda’s Cock Review:

Oh my god! Were my initial thoughts when I looked at your dick pic, dick? Can we even call it that?  What the actual fuck is that?! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry for the you dude! you must be single right?! If you’re not I feel sorry for whoever it is you’re attempting to fuck with your poorly inadequate equipment, they’ve obviously settled for less than their worth and if you are single then it makes perfect sense! I would never let a pathetic prick like that penetrate my perfect pussy! The only thing a little dick is good for is the for bitches out there who hate eating them! And that’s only because there is so little to work with I’m not sure it would even count as a blowjob!! If I wasn’t gagging at the sight of it I’d definitely be gagging at the thought of putting it in my mouth! The bellend looks like it belongs on the tip of a mushroom not a penis! It’s hysterical!

And for fuck sake what the fuck is with all the fuzz! It’s definitely not the prick I’d be choking on but the mass of hair straggling lifelessly around your pathetic prick, dead grey pubes! Yuck! Do you really think someone like me would accept something like that?! Worthless wanker!  You were wrong! It looks stupid and is making me want to puke! Haha! A pathetic score to go with your shit dick. 1/5

Mandy

Kensy’s Cock Review:

WTF Declan!!!! This is the first thing I said to myself when I saw your dick pic was awww, baby dick! Look at the lil maggot! I’ll be completely honest I was also having a giggle when looking at you, I’m sorry but small dicks always make me laugh! Ad yours made me laugh hard!  For fuck sake what were you thinking the day you sent hot girls your dick pic?! It’s not a good look you don’t have the prick to pull it off! Are you single? I’d like to know how exactly do you use that thing? I bet when it squirts it literally just trickles out the tip haha, does it even work? You need to let me know! I’d love to see a video of you stroking it this would make me laugh so hard! I couldn’t help but notice the grey area around your crotch, you go to the effort of making your dick look “nice” by adding weird faces? (which does not work!) But you don’t shave down there? I don’t get it! You have all the wrong moves baby! Saying that though you have all the wrong equipment so I don’t suppose it matters much aha, Sorry but there’s nothing I like about your wiener, not one thing! So my rating for you is a 0/5. I really don’t think you deserve anything higher

ken