This is the best you’ve got for me, Brendan? I mean, sure, I can compare it to a pillar, but not a pillar of masculinity. This thing barely even has a head on it, just some weird slant like one side of an X. As in, cross this out! And look at that nasty hair. Is pubic hair really supposed to crawl half-way up the penis? I mean, that poses a risk of it getting caught in my teeth.. oh, wait, no. I wouldn’t want to be sucking on this thing anyway! And those itty-bitty balls. Oh honey. Sometimes, size does matter. I mean, you can be a glass half-full or a glass half-empty person, but I suspect what you’ve got is barely enough to fill a shot-glass! Come on, now.. a lady likes to know her man can fill her pussy up with a good load; you could barely fill a pussy with that dick, much less the watery spunk it probably makes. Plus, girth? Let me tell you, Todd. I’ve got an incredibly tight cunt. I mean, that little pink hole is one hell of a squeeze, but this rod? It barely looks thicker than your thumb. How the hell are you going to please any lady with this tiny tool? You look rock-hard in this picture; do you walk around like that all day? I can’t imagine there’s many women willing to take on the chore of bringing you relief, so I just sort of imagine a perpetual hard-on just waiting for release. Or can you only get that thing hard when you’re alone? I mean, I know you’re dating, but if this was all I had at home, you’d be alone a lot! Because there are so many better dicks out there to fuck! I mean, maybe if you were a very good boy, I’d let you stick that in me for a little bit, just to remind you that my cunt is the only cunt you’re going to get, but you’d have to earn that particular pleasure. And by ‘earn’, I mean you’d better figure out a way to make me cum, because this dick isn’t going to cut it. Maybe you can give me a good fucking with a toy first; even the anal teasers would get me tighter than this. Todd, this package makes me sad.