Jenny’s Review:
Holy fucking shit!!! What the fuck is wrong with your cock!!? You should not be able to pull it to stretch it like that!! That’s not natural!! I kind of have this uncontrollable urge to call the doctor or something. Granted with a small dick like yours I can see why you want to try to pull it up, anything has to be a good thing if it helps with your length at all. Usually they say shaving off your pubic hair makes your dick look bigger, but you’re hairless as they come and your dick is still insanely small. No wonder you mostly end up eating a girl out. It’s the only way anyone would come having sex with you. But before you try to have sex with anyone else, I would recommend seeing a doctor about the bump on the tip of your shaft . . . oh shit wait that’s your dick head! What the fuck man!? Your entire dick looks like a mushroom. I’m actually looking at the pictures expecting Mario to come and jump on it. Hopefully this does not happen because you can’t really afford to lose anymore length. Your cock is probably an inch and a half long. I have a bullet vibrator that longer than your cock. I don’t put that inside of me either. Naturally your shaft is smooth. What the fuck do you need veins for!? It not like you need an additional help sending blood to your cock for an erection. It takes more blood keeping you pinky on then you need to get an erection. What’s the saddest part about your tiny dick are your balls. How the fuck are your balls bigger than your dick!? And they can’t be filled with cum because there’s no way semen actually comes out of the impossibly small dick head. Unless it oozes out like pus from an infected bump. Sadly though, I’d fuck the infected bump before I ever fucked your cock. Overall you cock is just sad. It’s making me cry harder than a Sarah Mclachlan song. Your tiny shaft has a crazy looking dick head and balls bigger than the whole thing. Stick to eating women out, because no sane woman would fuck you . . . unless she lost a bet. 1/5
jen
Erin’s Review:
What the fuck is this pathetic thing I am looking at? Did you lose a mushroom in your pants? I’m literally freaking out over here….Where the fuck is the rest of it? I cant imagine the look of disappointment on womens faces when you unzip your pants to reveal that giant hole where your cock is supposed to be. Literally my bellybutton is bigger than your cock. How do you even pee? Do you have to just pee all over yourself each time since you obviously can’t even point that tiny dick in any direction. God. If I ever came across a cock like this in real life, I would begin to think the end is near. The end of the fucking world. If God is creating humans with microdicks… than the rest of humanity should be worried… I mean obviously that thing can’t procreate… It wouldn’t even make it past my labia.. I’ve had pimples bigger than that stupid dick. A cock is a monstery, veiny, bulging motherfucker. This is not a cock. This is anything else. You say you mostly eat girls out? Lets cut the bullshit and admit you ALWAYS do… because lets face it babe… there just isn’t another reason to stick around. You better have a golden tongue or are into girls that like fucking guys with strap-ons… otherwise you’re shit out of luck for any intimate relationships. I’m sure you cry yourself to sleep every night knowing how you will never be able to pleasure a woman with that dumb dick. You think you’re impressing me by stretching your flaccid dick by its puny head? All it does is remind me that my super plus tampons would make a more suitable fuck toy… You better be into some kinky shit babe, cause this cock is far from being enough to get me off.
erin
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March 14, 2015 at 10:44 PM
I appreciate your rating of my cock I know it’s really little now before your rating I always thought it was average size I now own my little dick
March 15, 2015 at 12:11 AM
its def not as small as it looks….he s pushing it into his ball sack or whatev…..its prob about an inch smaller than the stretched pic…ill send a couple pics of mine showing the tricks of the trade; not sure what trade
March 18, 2015 at 5:59 AM
OK, admittedly Ive never seen a dick that small in real life, and I’ve seen quite a few, but hey, variety is the spice of life! I would love to suck it. The one time I sucked a small dick (though it was still at least twice the size of yours) i really enjoyed it. So did it’s owner. You just need to learn how to use it and other things to do, since you’ll never be able to fuck anyone, male or female with that. At least, there wouldn’t be much point. I think it would be fun to suck it. You can put the whole thing and the balls in your mouth, and that’s a unique sensation for both people! I’d actually like you to fuck me with it, out of curiosity. I can’t tell if there’s enough there for me to be able to tell when it was in, but it would be interesting. It just occurred to me how hot it would be if you had to come to me for blow jobs and fucking (if that’s possible) because no woman would bother. hmmmmmmm. keep that option in mind, buddy!
April 4, 2015 at 12:39 AM
Erin you said the head of my dick was puny I’ve always been proud of the fact that I have a large dick head,what are you talking about its big right?