Taryn’s Cock Review:

OH, MY GOD! Laughing My Ass Off! I cannot believe that you would even send this in. You asked for humiliation, and you’re gonna get it. Your dick pic is the perfect for humiliating. Your cock is so short!! Granted, you have some length on some of the cocks that have come to my inbox, but you aren’t even trying to show it off.  This thing would never satisfy a woman, if you ever aquire a girlfriend, that is. You better have something that makes up for that tiny cock in the bedroom. But even good oral action wouldn’t be able to make up for the length you lack. Girls like to have a cock that splits them in half. I bet you wouldn’t even make me cum. Like, yeah I guess you have a shaft with some girth, but not enough to make up for what you lack. I don’t even think I could give this cock a decent rate because…..I mean, well, look at it! Could you give that a rating on a number scale? I can tell ya it’s pretty difficult for me, but I guess I have conquered longer, thicker, and harder tasks. If you didn’t understand that, I am only rating your cock so I can get it out of my inbox, never have to see it again and I can move on to a cock that I would actually enjoy rating. Goodbye, sucker.

taryn

Kensy’s Cock Review:

Wow. I don’t even know where to begin. I think I could give a better rating if I could see more of it. Is there more? Do you get harder? This all just makes it less desirable to me. I don’t like dicks that I have to search to find the head. Usually, if the head is rounded like yours, the dick just doesn’t get very hard. A dick like yours is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you are gonna get. Unlike the chocolates in the box, it’s probably not that great. How do you hit a g-spot with that short cock? It is just ridiculous that you would think any girl would need direction to humiliate you because it would be hard not to humiliate you. I would like to know what the girls you send this pic to think about your cock. If I even answered your message with this picture, it would probably just be a picture of me to show off that I am not the girl for you. A girl like me likes bigger, and well frankly, better things. I think that your cock would be fun to sit back and laugh at with people. I don’t think that you would be able to please me. I’m sure I speak for almost all of the girls that you have been with when I say that I would have to fake it more than a cheesy porn actress. Whatever the case, thanks for sending in your pic. It helps keep in perspective what I am NOT looking for in my sex life.

kensy

Kylie’s Cock Review:

Hey there… Thanks for sending over this cock pic hun. Although I have to say, I am nothing if not a bit disappointed… This cock is so fucking skinny and undefined. Sure. You have a dick. But at what price? This cock looks like pizza dough being rolled out by a rolling pin. Just rolled out over and over until all that’s left is a thin strand of dough on which to put garlic. Seriously though , how is your cock so thin. I see you over there letting your cock flop down. Is that cause you are also disappointed by your pathetic cock, because it can’t even hold itself? You’re holding it like its a dingy sock. Actually that’s exactly what your cock reminds me of. A worn out piece of smelly laundry. I feel like you think you have a pretty boy cock. You think this cock could fuck me right don’t you? Could this cock fuck me? Sure. Would I want to fuck this cock? Sure. But that’s just because I’d have to use a sex toy as well just to get myself close to cumming. That or I’d have to ride this cock with the fact in mind that your cock doesn’t even mildly deserve my pretty pussy. I have always had a thing for the underdog… ;) Moral of the story is, good luck getting any pretty lady to cum on that weak dick without her having a loser fetish. :/

kylie

Lucy’s Cock Review:

Nice try hun. I wouldn’t even consider giving this cock a hand job. What’s the point? Maybe if I was a twelve year old virgin this dick would be big enough for me. The girth of it is there? It might actually be a little too big…. LMAO…. I’m lying. Sometimes a cock can be too wide and that makes it uncomfortable. And normal girls can’t take it. You can really only fuck some kind of freaky girl with a sloppy stretched out pussy. The head of your rod looks shrunken. What happened? Was it some terrible accident or were you born that way? I wish you were bigger so you could fuck me right. The biggest man I ever fucked makes your dick looks like a baby dick. And he actually had a head on his cock. I loved how it would pop as he burst into my glistening cunt. He pounded my pussy with his stiff anaconda until I was a quivering puddle. I must have had, like, five orgasms just from penetration. You couldn’t even give me one.

lucy