Jenny’s Cock Review:
Jesus Jeremy. I don’t know what the fuck you want me to say about this thing. It’s gross and you are old and gross. Like sorry but what the fuck? What are those gross lumps? Get that shit checked out, dude. You are a grown ass man and you’re walking around with warts and lumps all over your cock?! That’s disgusting. If I brought you home from a bar or something, not that I would because you’re old, and reached down your pants to feel those gross bumps I would not be happy. After disinfecting my hands I’d go wake up my roommates and show them how disgusting you are too. I’d take photos and post them on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, everywhere I can think of because that shit is disgusting and you deserve to be humiliated for it. Seriously. Gross. See a doctor.
jen
Taryn’s Cock Review:
Oh my god! What the actual fuck is your cock all about. I’m really Jeremy, you look like you have had some dick debilitating disease or something. Fuck I bet it has a smell. I can just imagine it smelling like cheese and old piss. There is no way I’m going near that thing. I wouldn’t touch that thing with a 6 foot pole. It’s fucking gross. When people say “ribbed for her pleasure” they mean a condom of a sleeve thing, not the actual cock. No one wants a lumpy and crooked cock. Good luck trying to find someone willing to touch that thing let alone let you put in inside them! If you even get that far, you look like a sex offender, so I doubt you’ll even get far enough with any girls for them to see your cock. You seriously have no hope, you are gross as shit. You should just give up now and become a hermit or something because you’re just going to die a gross warty virgin.
taryn
Lucy’s Cock Review:
Awwwww Jeremy this penis really ranks high on my most ri-dick-ulous list… This cock just isn’t doing it for me, and really probably is not going to do it for most any woman! Lol, Your length appears to have stopped developing right around the end of grade school, maybe the beginning of middle school, this length is legendary for comedy! When your fucking dick head is half of your dick, well you know, you are probably just better of not attempting to fuck eligible women… Your girth is not impressive either, but as I said it looks like you were done with puberty before it ever started, such a shame baby, with so many men out in the world with average to large cocks, you don’t stand a chance of impressing even the dorkiest of women. Even women scared of penis might find you laughable. Lame cock for sure. You want a sex position? I’d say find yourself a small room and fire up you laptop…. slide down your boxers and try not to cry when you see your flaccid clitoris… Open you email and find those naughty homemade movies I sent you. Look at my pussy, enjoy it baby, it’s the closest to grade a cunt you are going to get, you might feel your dick get hard, with your index finger and thumb, put a little pressure on your shaft and stroke… have fun baby, these movies might be the only thing that doesn’t laugh at you! :)
lucy
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