Amanda’s Cock Review:

Alright Mark, let’s get to this rating. Soooo, let’s get the ugly part out, and I think you know, it’s pretty skinny. It’s not the worst, and really there IS enough there to hit everything you’ll need to hit in a normal to medium size woman! So let’s not freak out, you are in the short category, but still enough to work with! Let’s move on to the great parts of your cock. First, for the length, you still are sporting a very interesting shape, and considering the length, the head of your cock is going to be nearly perfectly aligned to plow into my wet engorged gspot. Remember a woman’s most sensitive areas are only within about 3-4 inches inside her pussy lips, so you will have to be fully penetrated, but when you are, things are going to feel like a million dollars! Your girth is not great, would hope for quite a bit more, but it seems pretty hard! :) I would consider you hard enough to spread a nice set of soft warm lips around that cock…As for your dick head, still not much there. A nice shapely dick head, is what every girl yearns for when they design their perfect penis. A head that far exceeds the girth of the shaft. Stretching the pussy area to the max! Rubbing and massing the insides of my begging pussy hard! :) Unfortunately, just not much there for that… A unique dick for sure, don’t get disappointed in what you have to offer, 95% of great sex is a confident man, who knows what he’s doing and knows he is going to satisfy his woman. We are an emotional creature and simply showing us that, will get are cunts so wet, the rest is a piece of cream pie?…. ;) 2/5

Mandy

Taryn’s Cock Review:

Mark, your dick is smaller or below average in my opinion, but I wouldn’t categorize it as a bad dick at all. I think “other options” can help its possibilities a bit, so keep that in mind…. You are well aware your dick isn’t the best for vaginal sex. It doesn’t mean it can’t be part of it, but your cock’s unqiue shape and size might be much more fun outside the norm. In paticular, I think most women will love to explorer anal pleasures with this dick. I mean remember women love and get the most pleasure from vaginal intercourse, but with the right foreplay, some exciting anal sex, that should be enough to get her engine revved and your hard dick should be able to poke her pussy well. Your girth is where you are lacking, and it’s going to be hard to make up, but there are women that don’t prefer a ton of girth, or have small openings that enjoy something smaller like this.  Play the “just the tip” game, where you only enter the tip into her pussy and tease her with that before finally giving her the whole thing after she’s begged for it! ;) Super hot game!! Your balls are a nice and appealing size. I will say with a dick of your make up, I would strongly suggest you keep manscaped at all times. Your dick will require plenty of foreplay, and attention. Many women get turned on by performing blow jobs, make it as inviting as possible! As far as positions, I’m really think anal is where my filthy mind goes. I enjoy anal pleasure, and I REALLY enjoy the feeling of a guy cuming in my ass… it’s a very different sensation! I can’t take much dick there, but I’d let you do my ass all night long!!!! :) XO 2/5 stars

taryn

Kensy’s Cock Review:

What the fuck!? You should really keep your cock pics to yourself. Your cock is depressing the shit out me, seriously. I kind of want to hug it, but the thought of being near it is making me physically sick. Your cock is like the blob. You’re not exactly sure how it kills people, but you stay the hell away from it just in case. It’s a bit disconcerting that you only get that big when you are hard. Your cock is tiny. I’ve heard of showers and growers but your cock looks like you spend your entire life in a swimming pool. Shrinkage is just a way of life for you and that’s insanely sad. And what’s the deal with your dick head!? Do a blind alcoholic monkey do your circumcision!? It looks like when you went to cut you said, “just take a little off the top”. And that pathetic excuse for a dick head looks more like a self destruct button. That’s just sadly. I would talk about how thick your cock is but I’m sure any girth I’m seeing is pure fat which is terribly sad. Now I’ve heard of hair on top of people’s heads growing in patches, but pubic hair!? It looks like you went to trim your hair bs gave up midway. Or maybe the guy who did you circumcision also shaved your pubic hair. I would never have sex with you, you couldn’t even ask. You know that girl that you spend an hour eating out and fingering only to have her say afterward that she’s not interested in you. That would be exactly what happens between you and I. You’d come over after wining and dining me. We’d be sitting on the couch cuddling. Then you’d slowly start kissing my neck. I throw my head to the side so you won’t kiss me but you slowly make your way and massage my big tits through my shirt. I moan, knowing where this is going. You slowly unbutton my shirt and begin kissing my voluptuous mounds. I moan and run my hands through your hair as you make your way down to my skirt. I lay back on the couch as you lift up my skirt and pull down my panties. I slowly start massaging my tits while you place your head between my thighs. I moan loudly feeling your tongue running up my labia never parting them, just licking them until they’re drenched in your saliva. Then slowly your run your tongue between them, grazing my clit with you tongue running it down to my wet dripping pussy. You roll your tongue back up just as I feel a chill run through my body. With warning you begin sucking my clit holding it in your mouth with your lips while you run your tongue over it. I moan out loud just as your run your tongue down to stick it inside my pussy. Before I can react your start sucking my clit again as your finger my pussy. I cry out in ecstasy as a tremble send an orgasm through my body squirting my juices all on your tongue and fingers. You pull away and start undoing your pants. When your shriveled cock is freed from your jeans I sit up. “I think you should go. It’s getting late.” You stare at me mouth gapped opened as I put my panties back on and usher you to the door. Yeah…I can’t fuck your cock. It would just be a barrage of insults to me to submit myself to that. You short, skinny cock with the patchy pubic hair can’t come anywhere near me. Thanks for the head though. 1/5

kensy

Kylie’s Cock Review:

I’m sure I’m not gonna be surprising anyone or even you, when I say that you have a perfect example of a chode. Your cock is a chode. Your cock offers limited shaft, that reaches a total of… 2…3 inches? I mean your cock is totally deceiving me right now, because of all the cushion before your shaft begins, maybe another inch or two if I’m riding you??? I do have to say, though, that your dick head is pretty delicious looking. Thick, fat, robust and has a nice curvature to it, a little slopeee. I can’t really talk to you about your shaft… I mean there is really nothing to see. So I guess I’ll just skip to the elephant in the room which are those gigannntiiiiccc balls… Those balls look like the skin of a teenage sharpee.. I just want to get my nose in them and feel their velvety touch against my skin… It honestly looks as comfortable to rest my head in as a big couch with pillows and soft blankets looks good enough to jump into… Lemme take these balls out on a slumber party… Just those balls and my face ;) For what you lack in shaft, you make up a part with your cleanliness and general attractive dick-iness. But coming up with a good way to fuck this chode as to get off… is giving me a headache. I think I’ll have to stick with what I know and we can go from there… And when anyone asks Jennnnny what she knows, she’ll say something like… “I like fat cocks and anal”. You, my friend, can bring some things to the table… One thing is for certain… I will have to be on top. That cock wouldn’t be able to make it past my labia or my tight fat ass if we try something else… I would do some reverse cowgirl anal with this one… We’re talking about one of my favvvv positions here boy, so don’t you dare feel like you’re doing me any favors! So I’d like to start off by sucking on that chode to see how big I can get it… Working my way around that big cock head with my tongue, taking your dick all the way in my mouth, stuffing it nice and good, balls deep – until you start to beg me to stick it in somewhere tighter… I’ll give you the tightest part of my body.. My delicious, tight, sexy ass that has just been dreaming of a chode like yours to ride all night… Once I get you rock hard, I lay you down on the bed, turn around to give you a breathtaking view of my sexy ass…. So tight and yummy looking… You’re there rubbing your cock and with the other hand squeezing my ass as I sit down to straddle your hips. I lean forward a bit, my hair flipping to the front, and with my hand start stuffing your cock in my beckoning ass.. Your cock lubes me up nicely, with all that pre-cum… and enters my ass so fucking good… I sit back on it all the way and start rocking my hips back and forth, you watching my ass gyrate on that dick… so deep and so tight around your cock head. With my hands I am playing with those sexy balls.. jiggling them in my hands, feeling like velvet… You love the way my ass feels around that cock… I’m so wet. You hear me moaning and watch how much I love that chode in my ass.. Turns you on so much that I am about to get off your dick. I start playing with clit as I ride you… Then I think of the best idea of taking those balls and rubbing them against my clit… Loving how they feel against my body…your hands reach up to touch my tits then come up to my lips offering me to bite them… I change the pace slow to fast and back to slow, working my way up to a nice cum with help from humping your balls.. I start humping you harder and harder.. your cock massaging the inside of my ass… Pretty soon we’re both rocking into a fucking gorgeous cum and you love that I let you cum inside my asss.. You love watching it seep out of my ass and onto your tummy…. I’d say, not half bad for a chode! Thanks for the gorgeous time babe ;) 2/5

kylie

Lucy’s Cock Review:

What about it turns me on? I for one would be turned off by that fucked up tiny cock. Your cock is really sad. I don’t dislike your cock, I just feel bad for it. Your dick is like the fat kid in kindergarten than everyone avoids. I just want to give a sad look and hand it my Twinkie so that it leaves me alone. Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying though, your cock isn’t fat. In fact the only thing your cock has in common with that chubby loser is that it’s grossly short. When it’s hard it is about average at best. It must be no bigger than an inch when it’s soft. Your cock is so small that even with a pussy as tight as mine I wouldn’t feel anything if you were inside of me. You have the perfect tampon cock…only tampons might get offended if I say your cock looks like one. Your dick head looks like the doctor who did your circumcision was drunk and quit halfway through it. You dick head looks boring. Your cock is terrible. The closest I’d ever get to letting you fuck me is watching me fuck your best friend who’s cock is most likely bigger than yours. You would come over to my place after I cancelled on our weekly date. As you’re standing outside you notice your best friends car in the driveway and hear the sound of moaning coming from right behind the front door. You walk over to the curtainless window and see your best friend facing away as I’m on my knees with his huge stiff cock in my mouth. I suck on his huge dick head and tongue the hole before running my tongue down his veiny shaft and sucking his deliciously big balls. He grab a fistful of my blonde hair and pulls me up to kiss my mouth covered in his precum. “He’ll be calling soon, we should hurry,” He says as he finger my clit to get my pussy moist. You stand outside unable to move, feeling hurt and betrayed. “No, I want to take our time. I always have to rush with him because his little cock cums so quickly.” He kisses me deep again and slowly pushes me against the wall before kneeling down and sticking his tongue in my tight wet hole. I close my eyes and grind my hips into his mouth running my hands through his hair. I pinch my erect nipples and squeeze my little tits while moaning his name out loud. I tighten my thighs around his head as I squirt juices all over his tongue and mouth. He comes and kisses me deep letting me taste myself off his tongue. He bends me over and thrusts his huge thick cock inside my asshole. I grab my ankles as he fucks my ass hard, the sound of his balls smacking against my clit drowning out the sound of my loud moans, a sound you’ve never heard. You get closer to the window in shock, I never let you fuck my asshole hole. Your shriveled cock could never make the impact like his is. My knees buckle a little as I’m about to cum. He holds me up and shoots cum into my asshole just as I squirt my juices. His thrusts slow as he goes soft and pulls out of my ass. I stand up and kiss him deeply as a thank you. He looks up and sees you looking through the window. I turn and see you also. We all stand still for a beat before I walk over to window. I smile a mischievous grin before closing the curtain. Overall, there isn’t a damn thing redeeming about your cock. It’s short, it’s shriveled, it’s not veiny, nor does it have any girth at all. I wouldn’t fuck you if you paid me $1,000,000. But feel free to give your friend my number. 1.5/5

lucy