Amanda’s Cock Review:

I opened your photo and actually laughed. Not a cute laugh. The mean kind. The kind where I had to cover my mouth because I did not expect something this small to be held up like it was worth showing.

That is not a cock. That is a stub. You are gripping it like you are trying to make it look longer and it still disappears under your fingers. The head is shiny and pink and weirdly proud of itself, sitting on a short, pale shaft that looks like it gave up halfway through growing. There is more hair than there is dick. Your whole hand is doing all the work and the thing itself is just… there. Soft-looking even when you are clearly trying to present it hard.

I keep staring because I cannot believe you thought this angle would help. The room, the bed, the way you are holding it straight up like a trophy. Trophy for what? Participation? It looks damp and undersized and kind of lonely. The ridge under the head is the only part with any definition and even that looks like it belongs on something twice this size. You can see the whole thing in one glance. There is no length to get lost in. No thickness to notice. It is just a short, shiny little column sitting in a fist.

I keep thinking about the fact that you are dating someone. I have no idea how that happened. I have no idea what she sees when this comes out. Does she pretend? Does she look away? Because I looked at this picture and my first thought was that no woman should have to negotiate with something this small. It does not look like it could stay inside anything. It looks like it would slip out if she sneezed. It looks like the kind of dick you apologize for before you even take your pants off.

I would not know what to do with it. There is nothing to wrap a hand around properly. Nothing to feel stretch. Nothing that would make me feel full or used or even mildly impressed. It is the kind of penis that makes a girl go quiet in a bad way. Not shy. Disappointed. Then she has to decide whether to be polite or honest. Honest would be telling you this photo is embarrassing. Honest would be saying it looks underdeveloped. Honest would be asking how you ever convinced a woman that this was worth dating.

The shine on the head makes it look even smaller, like it is trying to look wet and inviting and failing. The shaft has no presence. Your pubic hair is doing more visual work than the actual penis. You are holding the base so tightly it is almost funny, like you know if you let go it will look even shorter. I can already picture how it would look from above. Almost nothing. A little pink tip and a lot of hand.

I keep coming back to the dating part because that is the part that does not make sense. Someone chose you. Someone sees this and still stays. I cannot imagine the conversation. I cannot imagine her being enthusiastic. I cannot imagine this being the thing she thinks about later. This is the kind of dick that gets described as “cute” when a girl is trying not to be cruel. Cute is not a compliment here. Cute means small. Cute means she is managing your feelings.

If I were in that bed I would feel bad for both of you. For her, because she has to work with this. For you, because you took the picture thinking it would land. It did not land. It just sat there looking inadequate. Short. Thin. Overly shiny. Held like evidence of something that is not actually there.

I would give it a 1 out of 10 and the one point is only because you at least showed the whole thing instead of hiding it. That is not generosity. That is just me being accurate. It is a micro, short, pathetic cock in a photo that makes the size problem worse, not better. And I still cannot figure out how any woman looked at you, looked at that, and decided she wanted to be the one dating it.

Mandy