Oh ew. What’s funny about your dick is that in the preview of your first photo I thought your cock was cropped out and only your legs were showing, but no. Your dick is just so small I didn’t even notice it at first, I had to look for it to find it, it’s that small. I also like how your phone is so much bigger than your cock, and that’s no iphone 6. Trying to say stuff about your cock is like trying to compliment someone’s bad cooking. It’s cute that they tried but god damn it I don’t want to keep muddling through it, I’d much rather have something more satisfying. Even my least favorite sex toy is so much better than your dick, and it’s bigger too. Wouldn’t it be fun to watch me use a sex toy that’s bigger than your cock and watch me cum all over it? We could make a whole day out if it, me using all of my toys and you sitting there watching without touching yourself.
I’d by lying on my bed on top of the cover, totally naked and touching myself. I’d start with my fingers as a warm up, they’re about the same size as your cock so you’d at least get to see me take in something that small. I’d move onto my vibrator, it’s about 6 inches long so it’s probably twice as big as your cock, I might cum once or twice with it. It’s not my favorite because it’s kind of thin, about as thick as your cock, so it doesn’t give me that nice full feeling. Then I’d move onto my favorite toy, my biggest dildo. It’s 8 inches and really thick, it fills me up all the way and sometimes I can’t even take all of it in. I’d cum all over really quickly because it feels so good. If I’m feeling in the mood for it I might get out a small plug and put it up my ass. Of all the toys I have my smallest plug is closest in size to your cock. And sure I could have you fuck my ass for a similar feeling, but it’s just not the same because then you’d be having fun. Once my plug is in I’d keep using my big fat dildo. All of my holes would be so full, and I’d be moaning and screaming so hard. I might have you take out your cock just so I can laugh at it. If I’m feeling really nice I might let you play with it, but I wouldn’t let you cum. Wouldn’t it be so embarrassing to get cuckolded by toys, knowing that some pieces of plastic and silicone are so much better than your cock. Haha, it’d be hilarious.
0/5, I have no reason to play with a cock like that.
smooches,
jenny
LOL I love the comparison to your thumb because your cock really deserves a thumbs down, and I’m glad you realize your cock is a loser. What’s hilarious about it tho is how it totally blends in with the shit you have all over your floor. To be fucking honest I bet whatever dirty socks you have on your floor are bigger than your cock. I bet they’re also really crusty and nasty from all the times you had to jack off into dirty laundry because no one wanted to play with your ridiculous cock. Really, there are so many cocks out there that are better than yours, the kind where you don’t have to ask if it’s in. Cocks you can jack off by actually holding it, not stroking it with two fingers. I’m certain you’ve never to feel what it’s like to get deep throated, only ever get to see it in porn. Would you like to see what it’s like to get deep throated in real life? I mean there’s no way it could happen to you so you’d have to watch some other guy get sucked off. I’d be more than happy to oblige in sucking the other guy off.
He’d be standing tall with his big cock out and ready for my tongue. I’d be on my knees in front of him getting ready to suck him off, anxiously awaiting the taste of his cum. You’d be sitting in the corner on your own. I’d start by sucking on his head, nice and slow so he can feel every move of my tongue, slowly stroking the vein on the underside of his head where he’s most sensitive. I’d have him moaning before I even started putting his shaft in my mouth. You might be moaning too but no one would care. I’d start sliding his shaft into my mouth, getting closer to going down my throat. I’d have to go slow at first so I can get used to it and won’t gag on his dick, at least not too hard. That’s what I’d really want you to see, me gagging and choking on a nice big cock. There might be a few tears going down my face as I keep gagging but I wouldn’t mind if it meant that you got to watch. Eventually he’d cum all over my lips and face and I’d clean it all off like a good cock slut. You might cum, or not, I don’t really care.
Shit dick 0/5.
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May 7, 2016 at 3:59 PM
Thanks for my review guys ;) I know, I’m pathetic right?
Can you review my recent submission soon please?
I sent you pictures with a tape measure this time ;)